i haven't..

i haven't written anything lately. not because i can't think of anything worth writing. reason's more on having way too many things going on with my life right now that i find it hard focusing on what i wanted to share with you. there are those little things that happens to me every now and then that i wish i could've told you. stories i was hoping i had been able to post online for you to read. to let you know how my life has been the past few months i have been silent. or simply make you smile with whatever incidents i try to narrate..

i haven't written anything lately. i wanted to. but i wanted to write about happy things. and i couldn't. at the start of the year, i remember we discussed how difficult this year was gonna be. it was something we both expected and somehow, i was confident that knowing what lies ahead would make us rise to the challenge. you did. i am still breathing. am not giving up just yet. but i keep wishing things were somehow easier sometimes.

i haven't written anything lately. i keep telling myself i will. later today, or tommorrow. or the day after that. old habits. the worst one i have, i guess. the idea that i can wait until later to get things done almost always gets the better part of me. in the future, people will remember me as the great procrastinator. am still trying to figure out if that can be considered as flattery. i know it's not. my mind works differently though, so, chances are i'll think it is. or was.

i haven't written anything lately. i am trying to write one now. while staring at the blinding lights right above me. emptying my head is what i am trying to do. i've read somewhere unloading your thoughts and putting them into words is also a therapy of some sorts. it used to work before. when i used to believe it was. now am not so sure. maybe it's true. maybe it isn't. who cares? i am writing and that's all that matters now.

i haven't written anything lately. i have now. but i still haven't written anything coherent. or anything that makes sense. this doesn't count.