dearest friend..

i was hoping i could talk to you about what's happening now..

the tragedy hasn't sink in yet, but that's how it's always been for me. we lost her Saturday night. my mom. the last time i saw her was Monday afternoon, after coming from my runs. they took her to the hospital on Wednesday night. was on coma on Thursday morning and gone forever two nights after. the details in between those events are still a bit hazy for me. only thing stuck on my mind now is that i'll never see her again. never hear her bug me to get a haircut, ask for the latest singlet or finisher shirt i got. or ask me to bring my son to visit.

i have long accepted that we won't have her for very long. just didn't expect to lose her this soon. a few days ago, we were still discussing birthdays. and celebrations. and plans. how she'd like to go back to the province, be there for the fiesta. we were talking about the future.

i now have to..
think of a life without her..
am taking this things in reverse..
the acceptance coming first..
then the denial, anger, etc..

damn.. !